beautiful disaster

Its so beautiful by why does it have to hurt so incredibly much? Love brings such an excruciating pang inside my chest, and yet I haven't loved enough.... I think that is how I make it. I know there is only so much more love to come and I want more. I don't care to hurt so badly and it hurts so bad at the moment. That's the only cure for the pains of love, to love more. And it's so scary. Am I only fooling myself of this "it's worth it" crap? I don't think so but it doesn't keep me from drops of doubt.