pretty impossible lady to be with

every crazy day drives me CRAZY!

And well when the craziness eases, I always, always, realize that it actually wasn't that crazy and hey, Im still alive and tomorrow is another day! I have trouble expressing myself. I hope its a problem that comes in the package of being female, I would prefer to use the term woman... I make things so complicated. And complicated is ok, I have learned to accept that. "But the truth is.... I like being so complicated. I hate so many things but if things were actually always good, perhaps everything would be less meaningless, life would be boring. I would never quite enjoy the happy & good times" (directly from my journal)
Im so scattered brain, crazy.. How many more times must I say that? I have myself convinced, but perhaps I say this continuosly to remind myself, never let myself forget. Crazy is good. I believe that is why, and how, I don't ever, completely let life overcome me, by telling myself Im crazy. So I haven't shown my pessimistic self here. Lately I've been bright and all smiles but this weekend turned me upside down. Let me just tell you, I once was an angry old woman, very impatient, unhappy and angry. This was not very long ago. My poor family had to witness this. This definitely happens sporadically. Because I was very giddy when 2008 begun.... Then had enough and was angry!!! @Z*! Then :) then :W & :( . You know it could be completely normal, which I hope so, then at the same time would like it to be abnormal..Don't ask, I don't quite know why. Anyway, I had to state that I can be very, very negative, wouldn't want to show a false image of Brooke. But mostly Im :) because Ive learned to accept things, many things...

I've learned to accept that I don't have the best voice, that sometimes, when I wake up, I look freaky, quite frightening.
That I can't change people, all I can do is let them know I care, share love and be an example. I've accepted that I suck at commitment and that I cannot keep a boyfriend very long.
Im not the best baker and certainly suck at cooking.
My vocabulary isn't grand, my grammer is horrible.
My dancing moves are a little whack and I look strange when I do dance.
I suck at aerobics due to coordination.





And the list goes on and on. All these things bothered me at one point and of course occasionally seem to bring me to a low and remind me that I suck at life but then its all ok. The thing about me is I tend to cry, mope and be devastated about the silliest and serious matters of life then soon after can just smile and laugh about everything. My sister told me that theres a possiblity that my snapses are jacked up, my emotions are so sporadic, and sometimes make no sense whatsoever. And I'm ok.
(sorry my photos aren't clear. Got them off my photobucket, have no clue why they appear that way)